I am my mother's child

There are days when emotions overwhelm caught in a monsoon I search for her

There are days when I go through famine

lost in desert plains I search for her

There are days

when the sun smiles

and the trees whistle

and the cool breeze kisses my cheeks

I search for her (still)

In my smile (and that of others) In the sound of my voice (and that of others) In the way I laugh (and that of others) and I find her (in self) I have her eyes

her smile

her laugh and her heart

So when the monsoon comes or I find myself parched in desert plains I must learn to hug myself

love my thoughts

love my words

love my laugh love myself Because I remind myself of her When I need her and miss her (I am my mother's child)

- Nqobile Ntombela (17/12/2019)

Some days I get on fine and then on other days (bad days) I wake up and I am faced with a sad and cold reality; that she is gone and I am without a mother. Without the Mickey Goldmill to my Rocky (an obvious Rocky reference) as I battle daily in this unkind and apathetic world. But e.e. cummings wrote it beautifully - I carry her heart with me (I carry it in my heart).

It's just one of those days; and if you checked out Dr Akpabio's Instagram page, you'd know that some days are good and some aren't. It is okay not to be okay (all the time). Something I am learning and trying to practice all the time. We need to change the narrative, depression is real and it kills (not to sound morbid), so we must learn as a society to be open with our feelings and if they overwhelm you, seek the necessary help. Today writing and sharing this piece was my therapy. Seek yours, and live wholeheartedly through the ebb and flow that is life.

Sincerely,

The Sad Panda

#poetryforthesoul #motherschild #mourning #eecummings